Clockwork nightmares

sometimes one feels like screaming but then chooses to just sit in silence
sometimes a room can be way too big, even for a claustrophobic person
sometimes time can be scary
sometimes being alone can be even scarier
sometimes one looses the ability to read other peoples minds
sometimes the mind cannot even read its own thoughts
sometimes one misses some things
sometimes one may miss just one thing
sometimes the memory of being hugged feels like it doesn't feel like anything that's human
sometimes one has to remind themselves of being just a being
sometimes it is difficult to write
or do laundry
or listen to music
or laugh to a joke
or
or be strong enough
and not care
sometimes one misses someone they miss
sometimes missing can be horrific
sometimes one can consider drugs as a solution
or death
or parties
or a brain transplant
sometimes crazy is all you can be
sometimes can be such a boring word sometimes
sometimes f*cking sometimes
i hate all of this
says the little voice
sometimes
not always
just
some
ti
me
s
.